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Our family has found out some difficult news about my mother. She was diagnosed with cancer. There’s not much I want to write about it right now, just that we take every day as it comes, and we are trusting in the Lord in whatever situation.

I’ve been listening to more music over the past few weeks, and I just wanted to write about a few songs. The last week I’ve been listening to a mix on Spotify, mostly Switchfoot, NeedToBreathe and other randoms that pop up, Plumb, Newsboys, Toby Mac. Some of them I would just play on repeat for a few times, focusing on the words to see what message I can get out of it, what phrases I can hold on to, trying to remember all the scripture verses to connect each song with.

Restless by Switchfoot was one of those songs yesterday. I remember trying to sing that song at a 24/7 worship night, at 5am on a Saturday morning. Right now these words have been repeating in my spirit and my mind. It brings up old desires of searching for answers, and they are the same feelings that are rising at this moment:

I am restless, I am restless
I am restless, looking for you
I am restless, I run like the ocean to find your shore
Looking for you

I can hear you breathing,
I can hear you leading
More than just a feeling
More than just a feeling
I can feel you reaching
Pushing through the ceiling
’til the final healing
I’m looking for you

I’ll be waiting
All that I aim for
What I was made for
With every heartbeat
All of my blood bleeds
Running inside me
Looking for you