I found this video series from the Come and Live website called “I Am Living”. I watched this video and I know I have found this kind of freedom:
Over the years I have seen many of my friends go through difficult times. I had one particular friend go through the same thing I did 2 years ago. She kept asking me, “How can you be so happy and I still feel terrible?” It’s not that I wasn’t feeling anger and sadness and pain. I struggled with things in my mind every day. The situation was something I could not change, but my mind was telling me otherwise. The difference was I knew that without God I know I’d be in the same position as I was 2 years ago.
The point of that video is that we don’t have to live with our pain hidden. It will suffocate us. It’s not only about having the courage to tell someone about our problems. We may feel better at first, but the pain always comes back.
This doesn’t only apply to pain like Clay Gill experienced, but to anything that is hindering us from living.
The best thing to do is give everything to God. I remember crying in my bed at night, constantly asking the Lord to take this pain from me. I had to give it up to Him everyday, because something would always make me pull the pain back towards me.
At times I loved feeling the pain. I had an understanding of what bands would sing about when they said they loved feeling pain, because that’s how they knew they were alive. But I became tired of it.
I knew there was something more. With God there is always something more, something new, something better. And the best part is that God will take us as we are and love us with our faults. We don’t have to change for Him. If we ask Him, He will change us.
I don’t know why I wrote this, but I know there is truth and freedom for someone out there.